Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Nice and Easy Time

Little Bear learned about stress in science class yesterday. She found out that stress causes grey hair.

She proclaimed at dinner that "mommy must have a lot of stress".


Wednesday, October 3, 2007

She does make more than me...

My eleven year old offered me $5/week to do her jobs around the house for her.

Am considering the offer.

Friday, September 7, 2007


There is a strange white light moving back and forth in my backyard in the dark....

Oh wait, that's my husband mowing the grass in the dark.

What a goofball.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Boogie Fever

Just led 15 people in a rousing rendition of Boogie Fever complete with the proper dance moves.

I'm just saying...

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Pigster's Dictionary

Damndelions - those damn yellow weeds
Buddadamn - Curse word created by Jim
Snarkastic - Sarcastic to a whole other level
Ambidickstrious - Can {ahem} do things with both hands - (MOM if you ever read this TUNIE'S friend Amy made this one up!!!)

Bidding on Bozo

There have been SOOOO many times in my life when I've wished I've had a Bozo Button (I know that the Button part isn't a proper noun, but I think that the Bozo Button commands respect). Almost daily, in my head, when someone does something that I think is innate to their responsibilities (mostly at work), I think, in a snarkastic tone...(did I just make up a new word? snarkastic?) "Well YOU deserve a Bozo button."
There are times, however, when I am giddy and really wish that I actually had a stockpile of Bozo Buttons to pass out to people who have genuinely earned such an honor. But, alas, though we lived a mere 2.5 hours away from Chi-town, we were always kept so far away from Bozo, Cookie, and the Grand Prize Game!...
But, in 3 days 18 hours, and 11 minutes - that could all change for me...for I have bid on a Bozo button on E-Bay.
Just think - I may be able to proudly display my Bozo Button and at the opportune moment point at it and say, "Gee...if only I had another. I'd surely give it to you."
Out bid me and I'll put on my clown suit and kick your ass.

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Oh the torture...

Oh the pain and torture of it all...

I am weaning myself away from so much DCL. (otherwise known as Diet Coke w/Lime.) I'm not giving it up entirely, but trying to cut back a little. I drink WAY. TOO. MUCH. DIET. COKE. Oh the headache. Oh the sadness.

Isn't it a pretty can? All sparkly and happy and full of joy? Yes, I know a fountain one is EVEN BETTER but you gotta love the lime too.

Yes I know about yummy flavored water and iced tea and all that, but it just isn't the same. And my headache is massive. And when does school start?

Oh and about my fab-u-lous fruit fly plan? Forget about it. My fruit flies have super powers. They can outlive two kinds of Raid, Windex, fly paper, wine/soap/vinegar, and hair spray. I hate those little buggers. My Christmas card will be signed from all of us and our 134,782 pets. We'll have just adopted them by then.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Tips from Tunie

Things I have just discovered that I love...

WD 40 - IN THE LAUNDRY ROOM!!! I ruined a shirt of RP's and had a t-shirt of mine with grease spots (okay, I'm like a kid - wiping my greasy paws from popcorn on my shirt...) I had already washed the both twice and they were considered RUINED. Put WD40 on them and the spots were gone. Fab.U.lous!

Left to Tell: One Woman's Story of Surviving the Rwandan Holocaust - Just read this book in two days. Totally not my type of book at all - but I loved it. Eight women lived in a bathroom without talking or moving much for three months. The author is younger than me. She's got amazing faith.

Fruit Fly Cocktail - My peaches got too ripe - now I have a GAJILLION fruit flies in my house. They seem to like the cocktail I made them - vinegar, red wine, and dish soap. Problem for them is, they drown in it.

Farm Corn - Okay, not a new passion, but seriously. I love that stuff.

More to come...

And if you have other fruit fly tips to share, please do.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007


Thank goodness we have one GT student in the house. Evidently I failed reading comprehension. Scary for all my former students out there.

After weeks of deciding about what type of cake to make for the fair, we have 12 hours until the cake is due. As we did the final pour into the pan of our coffee cake, KN said, “Is this really a single layer?”

Single layer?


No. Actually there are four layers.

KN, “And wouldn’t the topping be considered ‘other toppings’”

Oh yeah. I guess it would.

So the description reads, “Make a single layer cake with no frosting or other toppings.”

Yeah, a four layer coffee cake with topping probably doesn’t count.

12 hours and counting.

Moving on to choice #2.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Butt Boils and Botox

It's been a heck of a day, now hasn't it?

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Miss Independent

Happy Freakin Fourth of July...

Evidently I don't know how to function without my children. They left this morning for Grandma Camp, and I am wandering aimlessly through the house. I could go to the pool, but it is overcast and could rain. We could take a bike ride, but that pesky rain thing again. Would love to shop, but have no money and can't spend anything. I would scrapbook, but how can you sit and scrapbook in a messy house? I could clean, but who wants to clean on July 4th?

Thus I am cleaning (blah!) my kitchen and watching all of Season One of The Office. Funny show.

Next I might take a nap. It's a wild one today at our house.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

And then Mom lied...

Me (6:28:17 AM): when you resign. you won't go out quietly.
Me(6:28:20 AM): retire
Mom (6:28:51 AM): yes I will - I don't want anything fancy/schmancy
Mom(6:29:10 AM): I don't like being the center of attention
Me (6:29:11 AM): not fancy...but you'll want something
Me (6:29:18 AM): that's a bunch of bull.
Mom (6:29:20 AM): not really

Monday, June 25, 2007

Am Old...

Today I sat at the pool reading a book while KJ and his friend played happily. I didn't have to pay very close attention because they are both great swimmers and are old enough to mostly fend for themselves (note - there was a lifeguard too and very few kids in the pool).

Nearby sat three twenty-somethings in their little bikinis with their two year olds. How did I get to be the older lady near them? When did I slip into my late 30's? And why did I waste my 20's being too chubby to wear a bikini to the pool???

I was reading The Washingtonienne. It's about a twenty-something who has sex every night with strangers and does a lot of drugs. It's based on her real life. I can't even begin to relate to this girl and/or feel any sympathy towards her. It's hard to read a book when you can't stand the main character. I'll all for easy reads and fun books, but because this one actually (mostly) is real, it's hard to relate to.

And it makes me feel old.

Every Rose Has It's Thorn...

So I saw in the paper today that Ratt and Poison are touring together this summer, and are going to be in Indianapolis. I tore out the ad to give to Jeff as a possible birthday (or anniversary? how ROMANTIC!) gift.

Then I started thinking about who else would be there...basically a bunch of bloated 30-something women who thought they were hard core in high school because they listened to "heavy metal" (read...hair bands) but were really girls who liked power ballads and guitar riffs played by men who really knew how to use a can of Aqua Net (extra super hold, of course). I, of course, am one of those women. And I do still love Ratt. I don't listen to them much - my CD collection is very dusty (but so is everything else in my basement, but that's another story). I tend to spend my time listening to a combination of Radio Disney and Barenaked Ladies' song, if I had $1,000,000 (Sami loves that song. We listen to it 2x per day while driving to and from day care). And seriously? I thought Brett Michaels and CeCe Deville were in a huge fight. Did they make up? How do I not know this?

And talk about bloated? I think CeCe was either on Celebrity Fit Club, or should have been.

I have no idea what Ratt has been up to. Obviously nothing juicy, as they have NOT been featured on VH1.

So as I thought about going to this concert, I thought about a) who in the world I would ask to go with me (it would have to be someone I trust very much...I don't want to be made fun of forever) and b) who else would be there. Basically, I think there are 3 kinds of people there:
1) The former "hard core" (ha) girls (myself included) who are now married, living in a 4 bedroom home in a community on the north side of Indianapolis, and are married to an accountant (not that there's anything wrong with that! smooches to you Jeff).
2) Girls who are not former "hard core" girls - but girls who still tease their hair and who still wear wrestling shoes and think it makes them look hot.
3) The guys (most who look like Kid Rock) who are with girls from item #2 above.

I probably won't go to the concert. I'm guessing that my money would be better spent at Target...talk dirty to me indeed!

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Young ladies can be so loud.

So Lizzy's party is over. Overall a success...but seriously - I think my days of the big birthday party are over for her. I can remember having one or two big birthday parties...but I don't remember doing something every year. Lots of years my birthday was spent on the softball field, or at Gram's. (By the way, I just noticed that Jeff is down here by himself watching Finding Nemo. I love that.)

I hate to rant, (actually I love it) but I also think they need to just PLAY...P L A Y some. Seriously, the "so what are we doing next" is crazy. I said, more of what you are doing, or sing and dance. I wish it wasn't raining. I was going to make them go outside and play tag. Do they play tag any more?????

On a positive note, they did play Twister. Of course, one of the girls was injured (I caught it on film...it wasn't pretty) but she survived when I told her she could go get pizza.

The capstone moment of the party was when they all belched their best belches into the Karaoke machine. Then, when one of the moms came, I mentioned that there was significant belching, and she said to Lizzy..."well you can belch the ABCs - right Lizzy?" and it turns out that yes...she can. How in the world does Emily's mom know my kid can belch the ABCs and I don't? Obviously we need to spend more time bonding as a family.

Sami is sleeping over at Morgan's house. Lizzy and SJ are upstairs watching the Naked Brothers Band movie. Jeff is watching Finding Nemo, and I am having a glass of wine and am going to go get my butt kicked by a 7 year old on Webkinz...

Happy Anniversary to you!

13 minutes into the party...

and they ask..."what are we eating for dinner?"

Thank goodness for frozen pizza.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Follow me through Follow the River

I’m sure if I get past the Indian attack, this darn book must get better. I hate reading about children getting hurt, and it is not pleasant so far. I had to read the end to check on the fate of the children. Not sure if I’m going to make it through the book.

Your friend may call herself a Book Slut, but I consider myself a Book Wimp. I can't read sad stuff like this.

Or I'm a Book Snob. Not because I only like high quality literature, but because I usually prefer fluffy chick lit. Not exactly high quality stuff.

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Im totaly hookd

It's 9:47 which means it is at least 47 minutes past my bed time. But instead of reading my book (and that book? Um, I do judge a book by its cover and its cover DID NOT IMPRESS ME) I am totally hooked on the National Spelling Bee. While you may be finished with with your Fall TV season, my summer season is just rev'ing up - apparently beginning with the spelling bee.

Favorite Summer Shows?

Big Brother (which should count as more than one because it is on THREE NIGHTS A WEEK)
My Life on the D List
I'll watch Real World Reunion too (its a reunion of the Vegas cast)
Ugly Betty (okay technically not a summer show, but I lost track of it and need to catch up. Same with Brothers and Sisters (love that show)
Oh yeah, I also need to catch up on ER. (though I do think it is time for it to end)

Obviously, high quality television viewing...

On a side note, just checked my kids' final grades - all A's!!!!!!!!!! (if we pretend that handwriting doesn't count for KJ). Yippee!

Falling asleep... must go to bed. Stay tuned for the following blogs soon to come...

My Backyard Suburban Jungle
Tunie's Book Picks

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

$@#!! Usernames

So I had some sort of mental block this morning and could not figure out my Blogger user name. Which is insanely easy. I tried making it harder than it was.

So as a result, I've now had password reset reminders sent to other blogger users whose usernames were user names that I thought should be mine. Well, that should keep them wondering who was messing with their account...

Last night officially ended my current TV season with the season finale of House. I feel both liberated and sad. When I looked over the TV listings today, I thought, "Well now what am I going to do?". The good news is that I am really into my book club book, and I have a very messy house, and 3 kids...so I guess I'll find something to do.

And of course, there's always the internet. I could put the smack down on some 9 year olds playing against them on webkins.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007


Number of phone calls made by Grandma to me today regarding Webkinz.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

It's no tiara

Just got back from the dentist.

I had been avoiding the dentist for a while. After my last appointment he said I needed to schedule another appointment for a cavity or crown - he wasn't sure which it would be.

I cancelled that appointment because I was sick (really I was. it was a bad hangnail.)

But today I had to face the music and go for my regular 6 month tooth scraping session (where I always promise that this time I will floss). He said it was no cavity - it needs a crown. So say a prayer on June 12th that I can survive it. Or, better yet, plan something fun and important on that day and invite me to it so I have to cancel that appointment. I think I feel a hangnail coming on.

(is hangnail one word or two?)

Monday, May 21, 2007

Is it wrong?

To play on Webkinz after your kids go to bed?

To only watch the finale of The Bachelor, but not the rest of the season?

To have sidebar conversations and looks with your sister while your aunt and grandma are talking?

To still watch Real World and Road Rules in your 30's?

To get too sleepy to finish your thoughts on your blog...

three FREAKING forty-nine!


$3.49 x 20somegallon tank = ahelluvalottamoney

i've got to get a job

Sunday, May 20, 2007

5 words you DON'T want to hear

when you are having sex with your husband...

"What are you two DOING???"

From your 3 year old. In your room.
oops. forgot to lock the door.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Didn't see that coming

I love The Office. Can't write about it since you haven't watched it yet. But I do love it.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Midnight Madness

See at 10 at night we are not funny. At 4 in the morning, we are freaking HILARIOUS.


Am trying to think of something witty to say.

Am failing.

Here we are

Yep - it's our blog. First time posting. Wish my dear sister were online so she knew I was creating a blog for us.